I’ve been told that so many things are supposed to happen when you grow up. You fall in love, you get a career, you establish yourself and figure everything out. Things seem to fall into place like puzzle pieces as you gain the wisdom of being another year older. I turned 25 years old a few days ago, and I can’t really say that things are falling into place.
Five years ago I was in college barely pulling myself together. Who knows what I’ll be like five years from now? So much can change between there and now that I can’t place bets on anything. And I tend to focus so much on the next five years that I lose sight on the present.
Because when I look at the past five years I feel like I wasted them. I feel like I didn’t spend my time wisely, and that if I had a chance to relive it I would change nearly everything. But I know that’s not the truth. In the past five years I graduated college, I lived in a different state, I traveled to three different countries, I started graduate school, and volunteered more times than I can count. Why is it that I can only remember the moments wasted?
In the next five years I hope to graduate with my Masters, buy a new car, get a promotion, and hopefully be in a steady relationship. Maybe I’ll buy a house or travel to Tokyo. I have plans for my future, but I fear that I’ll lose sight of my motivation and waste it away again. I focus so much on how I should spend my time that I forget to enjoy it.
I want so badly to finish the puzzle that I don’t enjoy solving it.
wondeverland 